Desert Island Directors

Recently I listened to a film podcast in which the two hosts listed their 5 "Desert Island Directors".  The concept being if they were stranded on a desert island, and could have the entire filmography of only 5 directors available to them to watch, who would they be?  

What I thought was interesting was that more than just what your favorite movies had to be considered.  Just because you love "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective" doesn't mean you want the rest of Tom Shadyac's filmography with you.  The number of films a person has made and whether all of those movies were ones you enjoyed were the main thinking points.

It made me think about my own list.  Films are such a personal thing to me, so much more than just entertainment, so it was very difficult to narrow it down and truly consider which director's works would I be okay with losing and which I couldn't put on the chopping block.  I don't think the list is perfect, so there will be honorable mentions at the end.  Also, I cheated and put two directors in one spot as a tie . . . because it is my list, it is just for fun, and ultimately it is not important.

So, here they are, in no particular order . . . 

1. Stanley Kubrick

It was a night class my sophomore year of college that made me fall in love with Kubrick's films.  Watching every film in his filmography, a tragically short list, revealed a brilliant artist and an increasingly dismal worldview.  But even if the social commentary was bleak and unforgiving, there was always a way in for me.  Something grabbed me, and it was probably the combination of magnificent images coupled with intelligent and gripping story telling.  Plus, these movies have a wonderful, dark sense of humor . . . which I love.  Nothing is funnier to me than the President of the United States sharing pleasantries with the Russian leader under the cloud of nuclear annihilation in "Dr. Strangelove".

If I had these movies on the island I would also get some of the greatest movies ever made in many of the film genres; war, science fiction, period drama, comedy, and (my favorite) horror.  I would have plenty of time to watch "2001: A Space Odyssey" and just let it wash over me and temporarily erase my reality.

This is one filmmaker that I wish would have made more films, but I am grateful that I have these to enjoy.

Filmography:

1953 Fear and Desire

1955 Killer's Kiss

1956 The Killing

1957 Paths of Glory

1960 Spartacus   

1962 Lolita

1964 Dr. Strangelove

1968 2001: A Space Odyssey

1971 A Clockwork Orange

1975 Barry Lyndon

1980 The Shining

1987 Full Metal Jacket

1999 Eyes Wide Shut  

2. Alfred Hitchcock

I really only need to name one movie to make my point clear, "Psycho".  But the fact that he made so many more films (the majority of which I still need to see), and all of the others that I have seen I have enjoyed immensely.  

North By Northwest: Great fun.

Lifeboat: An amazing wartime allegory.

The Birds: C'mon . . . it's the birds.

But, it's not just that he has made classics that I chose to bring his filmography to the island.  It's that his films are also a blindspot to me.  He has made so many that I have not seen, and it would be nice to have new experiences on this island.  Plus, I trust that he did not make a bunch of stinkers, so I doubt when a watch a "new" Hitchcock film I will be disappointed.

Filmography

1923 Always Tell Your Wife

1925 The Pleasure Garden

1927 The Lodger: A Story of the London Fog

1927 The Ring

1927 Downhill

1928 The Farmer's Wife

1928 Easy Virtue

1928 Champagne

1929 The Manxman

1929 Blackmail

1930 Juno and the Paycock

1930 Murder!

1930 Elstree Calling

1931 The Skin Game

1931 Mary

1931 Rich and Strange

1932 Number Seventeen

1934 Waltzes from Vienna

 1934 The Man Who Knew Too Much

1935 The 39 Steps

1936 Secret Agent

1936 Sabotage

1937 Young and Innocent

1938 The Lady Vanishes

1939 Jamaica Inn

1940 Rebecca

1940 Foreign Correspondent

1941 Mr. & Mrs. Smith

1941 Suspicion

1942 Saboteur

1943 Shadow of a Doubt

1944 Lifeboat

1944 Aventure Malgache

1944 Bon Voyage

1945 Spellbound

1946 Notorious

1947 The Paradine Case

1948 Rope

 1949 Under Capricorn

1950 Stage Fright

1951 Strangers on a Train

1953 I Confess

1954 Dial M for Murder

1954 Rear Window

1955 To Catch a Thief

1955 The Trouble with Harry

1956 The Man Who Knew Too Much

1956 The Wrong Man

1958 Vertigo

1959 North by Northwest

1960 Psycho

1963 The Birds

1964 Marnie

1966 Torn Curtain

1969 Topaz

1972 Frenzy

1976 Family Plot

3. John Carpenter

I love me some horror, and John Carpenter has made some of the greatest horror movies of all time.  You can't beat "The Thing", the stifling paranoia, the amazing creature effects, and the fun in watching it all slither it's way across the screen. 
 

I think "fun" is  good way to describe most, if not all, of John Carpenter's movies.  Regardless of how dark they are ("Halloween"), or what message is being put out there (for example the comment on the sometimes unsavory history of the formation of the U.S.A. in "the Fog"), it is all fun to watch.

I can watch "They Live" over and over and revel in the great one liners ("I came here to kick ass and chew bubble gum, and I am all out of bubble gum") but also appreciate the not so subtle theme of commercialism in society.
 

As time went on his films gained in their crazy momentum, and eventually became lacking, but there will always be something in each movie to appreciate.  I am grateful that there will always be the simply sinister beauty of "Halloween" to fall back on.



Filmography

1974 Dark Star

1976 Assault on Precinct 13

1978 Halloween

1980 The Fog

1981 Escape from New York

1982 The Thing

1983 Christine

1984 Starman

1986 Big Trouble in Little China

1987 Prince of Darkness

1988 They Live

1992 Memoirs of an Invisible Man

1995 In the Mouth of Madness

1995 Village of the Damned

1996 Escape from L.A.

1998 Vampires

2001 Ghosts of Mars

2010 The Ward

4. Guillermo Del Toro

I love the Grimm's Fairy Tales.  And, not in their white washed, "safe for children" versions.  The original Grimm's Fairy tales were creepy, wicked, violent tales that truly were meant to scare kids straight.  Although, the unfair depiction of Step Parents is a tad problematic.  I feel as though Guillermo Del Toro is continuing in the Grimm vein, and creating some of the most beautiful and terrifying modern fairy tales ever told.

 

Mostly what I am referring to is his Spanish language films.  "Cronos", "The Devil's Backbone", and "Pan's Labyrinth".  All three of these movies delve deep into the dark corners of humanity and ultimately find hope in it as well.  Plus, he knows how to creep a fella out.  The Pale Man in "Pan's Labyrinth" has got to be, hands down, one of my favorite things I have seen in a film, and he is entirely disgusting and disturbing.

 

In addition to these, he has made some pretty great high budget movies that meld genres and turn up the fun to 11.  I love the "Hellboy" movies, and not just because it is my favorite comic, those are great movies.  "Pacific Rim" may not be that great a movie, technically, but looking past some of the hokey writing and what not, I find it entirely watchable and have seen it a couple times now, liking it even more as I see it more often.

 

Hopefully on this desert island I can watch Crimson Peak somehow . . . otherwise, I am going to do some serious pouting.

Filmography

1993 Cronos

1997 Mimic

2001 El Espinazo del Diablo (The Devil's Backbone)

2002 Blade II  

2004 Hellboy

2006 El Laberinto del Fauno (Pan's Labyrinth)

2008 Hellboy II: The Golden Army

2013 Pacific Rim

2015 Crimson Peak

5 (part I). Ti West

So here is part one of my cheat.  I figure since these last two filmmakers have shorter filmographies, I would have plenty of room to bring all of their movies.  The first, is Ti West.

 

I have only seen three of the six movies he has made, but based on the strength of those three movies he has to be on the list.  "The House of the Devil", "The Innkeepers", and "The Sacrament".

 

I will watch "The Innkeepers" at any time.  It is just a classic ghost story told with intelligence and wit.  It does not rely on cheap jump scares to keep you intrigued, and builds suspense through expert character development and subtle sounds and moments.  Until, of course, all hell breaks through towards the end and fear is the only thing you feel for the final act of the film.  My favorite scene is one in which the main character is doing an audio recording, trying to catch ghostly sounds.  Eventually, whispers come through barely audible, and piano music floats into the recording device.  The character finds her way to the piano in the lobby to find no one playing and the music stops.  She approaches the piano, tension building with each step, and finally a deep/loud low note is pressed into the keys.  The shock of the moment is palpable and just a classic horror moment.

 

His other films rely on the same slow tension build, and are also amazing in their own right.  But, really, I just want to watch "The Innkeepers" on repeat.

Filmography

2005 The Roost

2007 Trigger Man

2009 Cabin Fever 2: Spring Fever

2009 The House of the Devil

2011 The Innkeepers

2013 The Sacrament

5 (part II). Jeff Nichols

I have seen all of Jeff Nichols' movies, except "Midnight Special" because it has not been released yet, and love each of them.  I saw "Shotgun Stories" because I had heard about it on a film podcast I listen to (the same that inspired this list) and was blown away.  It tells the story of feuding half brothers and is gorgeous and heart wrenching.

 

Then, I saw "Take Shelter". The story revolves around a man who begins to see visions of storms and has intense nightmares about anonymous people trying to steal his family, and of people whom he loves trying to hurt him in some way.  Because he sees these storms, he begins the build out the tornado shelter in his back yard.  I connected immediately with the main character as he is a man that only wants to protect his family, the people he loves, and he will do whatever it takes.  Even if it seems irrational or downright insane.  The nightmare sequences are really disturbing, and there is a scene at a Lion's Club dinner that just floored me with it's emotion and intensity. 

 

Ultimately I think Jeff Nichols is telling truly original tales grounded in emotional honesty.  They are simple stories, told beautifully and in a way that feels timeless. 

Filmography

2007 Shotgun Stories

2011 Take Shelter

2012 Mud

2014 Midnight Special 

Honorable Mentions:

Ridley Scott: "Alien", "Prometheus", "Blade Runner".  It hurts me to no end to loose those movies, but there are 32 other ones that I don't really need to watch again.

 

Steven Spielberg: I can not believe I would never be able to watch "Jaws" ever again, which is one of my top 5 all time favorites.  And, "Jurassic Park"? C'mon!  "Saving Private Ryan" is a classic, despite the unnecessary bookends.  But, I refuse to watch "War Horse" . . . and "E.T." can eat my Reese's Pieces.

 

David Fincher: This was a very hard one to leave off.  Other than the "Curious Case of Benjamin Button"  I have loved or liked all of Fincher's films.  From the underrated "Alien 3" to the modern masterpiece that is "Zodiac", I think he lost out just because I feel a more personal/emotional connection to the other films/filmmakers that made my list.

 

David Lynch: I will already be marooned alone on a desert island, I don't need Lynch's movies assisting me in loosing my grip on reality.  Although, I love "Twin Peaks" (I know, it's a TV show), "Lost Highway" was incredible, and "The Straight Story" and "Elephant Man" make me cry.
  

Tobe Hooper: "Texas Chainsaw Massacre" . . . that's it. I will miss this movie so much.
 

Wes Anderson: I am a bit of an Anderson apologist, although I just can't get behind "Moonrise Kingdom".  "Rushmore" still makes me laugh so hard ("Unlock it!"), and I am on of the few folks who really likes "The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou".  But, I think he lost out only because there isn't much tonal variety to his films, and I am planning on having some fairly wild mood swings these movies will have to match.
 

Christopher Nolan: Not only do I adore the "Dark Knight" trilogy, I enjoy all of his other films as well.  I think his remake of "Insomnia" is pretty underrated.  I just don't connect emotionally with many of his movies, and that was the deal breaker.
 

Tim Burton: If I had made this list in high school, Burton would have been #1.  Regardless of how much I love "Ed Wood", "Edward Scissorhands", and "Peewee's Big Adventure" (plus a few others), his recent filmography has been far less satisfying to me, so I guess I will never get to watch Bela Lugosi swear like a sailor . . . and that is a shame.

George Romero: "Night of the Living Dead", "Dawn of the Dead", and "Day of the Dead" are historically important, as well as amazing films.  Watching a zombie ride a horse in "Survival of the Dead", exponentially less so.

Terry Gilliam: I love Monty Python, and if I had included Mr. Gilliam I would have at least one Python movie represented, "Holy Grail", (even though I like "Life of Brian" more).  Plus, I would get to watch "Brazil" as much as I want, and a bunch more movies that I like quite a lot.  To be honest, I am not sure why he isn't on the list.  But, he isn't, so don't make a big thing of it.

In Conclusion:

It was fun for me to think about my favorite films and really have to decide which films meant the most to me.  I hope it was fun to read about it . . . even though it was poorly written and, ultimately, pointless.  It is a relief that I will never have to be in the situation to choose.  And just to be sure, I will never load a sail boat with movies, a TV, and a blu-ray player and try to circumnavigate the world. 

Crisis averted.  I am going to watch a movie.



The house stands before you like a once grand gravestone, one withered by nature and neglect.
Creeping vines climb up from the ground, and appear to be trying to pull the house underground.  Nearly all of the windows are broken, the glass crunches under your shoes as you stare up at the door.

You have always been told that this door must remain closed.  Not to keep people out . . .

but to keep something in.

You take a step closer and all of the stories you have heard flood your mind.

Satanic ritual.

Probably just a rumor.  The wind blows dead leaves across the yard.  The stars seem to dim as you approach the front step.

Patricide.

A tragedy, but something that does happen and was explained by abuse and mental illness.  You flip the switch on your flashlight, the beam concentrates on the door handle.

Suicide.

No previous history of mental illness, and a rambling note that spoke of whispered voices coming from the attic, dark figures watching everything, and blood pouring out of faucets.  Extremely strange, but a sudden psychotic break has been known to happen.

Missing children.

Your hand grasps the handle and begins to open the door.

Missing pets.  Orbs.  A talking deer head trophy.

The silly stories give you small comfort while the door swings open with a creak.  All that comfort drops away as you stare inside.

The wood floors buckle and bend as if they can no longer contain all the bodies buried beneath.  There is a dark stain on the hand rail leading upstairs, it is smeared nearly the entire length of the rail.  What torn curtains remain shiver slightly, as if a hand has just brushed over them.

Your terror is great, but your curiosity is stronger.  You are compelled to step inside.  Maybe this will turn out to be nothing.  Maybe you will experience the supernatural and live to tell the tale.

Maybe you will never be heard from again.

Halfway up the stairs you hear the front door creak closed behind you.

Your body crawls with goosebumps.


*art by Ryan Hanson

Family Dance Night Discovery

Horrific Life Lessons

Horror movies are meaningful.  The good ones (let’s face it, there are some pretty awful ones out there) explore society’s fears, shine a light on our own shortcomings and hypocrisies, make us ask hard questions about morality and faith, and provide catharsis in letting us experience our worst fears without having to experience them in reality.  For many, horror films are their roller coasters, that fun shot of adrenaline that makes them feel alive. 

I watch horror films for all of these reasons.  Sometimes they are just fun.  Sometimes they are art.  Sometimes they are all of these things.  The extremes in emotions that you experience when you watch a truly great horror film can make the best of dramas pale in comparison.

However, there are so many important life lessons that can be learned from horror films as well.  The Brothers Grimm understood this.  In their original fairy tales, the stories contained extreme horror and frightening imagery.  But, they also contained morals and lessons.  I think horror films still contain these messages.

I have compiled a list of lessons that I have learned from some of my favorite horror films, and wanted to share them.  Yes, some of these situations might seem pretty specific and it might seem unlikely that you would ever find yourself in that situation.  But, please, take heed and be wary, because you never know when all Hell might break loose.

1. Anyone with button eyes is not to be trusted. 

2. Don’t be a teenager. 

3. Just avoid babysitting altogether.

  

4. If you need an inhaler, tape it to your body somewhere for easy access.  Also, if you’re told to avoid the basement . . . avoid the basement. 

5. If you end up in an old house in rural Texas with a huge amount of morbid taxidermy hanging about, excuse yourself immediately.

6. When you suspect a loved one is possessed by the devil, remove, from that person’s room, any objects that have the potential of being shoved into any orifice. 

 

7. When you are visiting the cemetery and you spot a suspicious person shuffling and groaning, don’t try to make small talk, destroy their brain and find someplace safe to hide away for the rest of your life.

8. If a murdered serial killer starts inhabiting your nightmares . . . just throw in the towel (or the bed-sheets). 

8. If you are on the lamb, and need to place to stay for the night, do yourself a favor, don’t stop at the first hotel you see.  Drive on and stay at a Holiday in or something. 

9. No matter how good it looks, don’t eat the damn grape. 

  

10. Don’t live in a house built on a native burial ground.

11. There is a chalky under taste.  Don’t eat it.  Don’t let the old lady into your home.   She is a Satanist. 

12. Again . . . don't be a teenager.

13. If you find yourself in a situation where you are in the Antarctic, and anyone in your group could be a murderous shape-shifting alien, just take the chance and kill everyone else.  It will stop the alien from escaping and save humanity, unless you are an alien too . . . so . . . in that case it may be time for you to check out as well. 

14. Don’t stay in creepy cabins in the middle of nowhere, and if you do find yourself inhabiting one of these places, for God’s sake, don’t play the reel to reel that reads out the spell in the Necronomicon that unleashes the evil in the woods.

15. You’re in a hotel, it’s winter, you’re stuck there . . . figure out a way to blow off some steam, or you may do something you regret. 

16. Start with a bigger boat. 

 

Delia : Year One

I originally intended to write some "clever" post about Delia's first year of life, and as I wrote it I realized it all felt a little flat.

There is absolutely no way I could express how deeply Maria and I love and cherish our daughter.  Or how happy we are that we have been able to keep her alive for a full year!  We have got to witness her first smile, which quickly turned into laughs.  He first steps, which rapidly became walking and getting into trouble.  Her first words; mama, dada, hi, bye bye, peas (please), all done (which she uses to try to get out of car rides now), and many more to come.  

We got to take her swimming for the first time, and see first hand what pure joy looked like (not to mention it swelled my heart because I too love swimming).  We took her to Colorado on her first big trip, and despite some interesting events (wild fires and throw up), we made memories we will always cherish.  Not to mention the time spent with Grandparents, Aunts and Uncles, Pep peps and Zias, enjoying the simple pleasure of spending time with those we love, and seeing Delia love those people too.

She is an amazing person.  It is marvelous to watch her learn, it is one of our favorite things when we find something that makes her laugh, and it is unbelievable to think it has only been one year.

It hasn't all been perfect; sleepless nights, temper tantrums, rejected food, and just plain getting into trouble.  But, all that seems to drop from our minds when Delia looks at us with that precious smile and says, "hi!"

What year two brings, I don't know.  Personally, I am just kind of picking this stuff up as we go.  But, regardless of that it is going to be exciting.  Delia changes so much day to day, I can't begin to know what she will be like when she turns two.  Maria probably does know, but I have asked her not to tell me, as to not ruin the surprise. 

No more words.  Pictures and videos, that's what people really want to see.

First, a video Maria put together of Delia demolishing her birthday cake, shot during Delia's first birthday party.

 

Now, a few pictures.

A Song for Mommy

Delia's first steps!