a trip through time

friends, i am very sorry it has been so long since i have written. i have been recuperating from an other worldly excursion of monumental scale. my dear friends i have just returned from the past. yes, we went on a trip through time. my body, and more importantly, my mind needed time to recover some sense of normalcy before i would be able to convey any of what we experienced in this most unusual holiday. i think my concept of reality and time has been altered permanently and from here forth i will not be the man who you once knew . . . i will be a little heavier. here begins my tale.


This tale starts normally enough. we had planned on going on a trip to celebrate an anniversary for some good friends of ours to wisconsin dells, wisconsin. we all met at the place where maria and i live and headed out on the long road to the dells. upon entering wisconsin a strange fog began to descend and it was starting to become hard to see. it was a dense fog, one that brought strange events that i will never be able to forget or explain. after the fog lifted things were different.

we arrived in wisconsin dells but it seemed that we entered into a time long forgotten instead of the time in which we lived, the medieval era. the first place we stopped was a place of torture.

we witnessed the ways in which both the guilty and innocent were punished and it was beyond our belief. some of the most horrific things in human history were done to man by man and we saw them first hand. there was one where a person was hung upside down and a saw was placed at this persons groin and they were sawed in half until they died, which usually didn't happen until the saw reached the navel or chest. some of us enjoyed it more than others, see above picture, and as far as i know steve is now planning on a career in corrections.

we then traveled forward in time into the time of pirates. another dangerous situation that we had to endure.

the girls made a mistake right away and insulted the captains boots and they were placed in these restraints. after they had spent their time and the captain was pleased in their punishment the ship sailed on . . . towards high seas shinanigans! we sailed to the island of wisdelsin in search of an ancient treasure. there we were confronted with 18 tasks that we had to complete before we could see the gold, and if we failed we would perish.

with the tasks completed, my mind is too foggy and i cannot remember what the tasks were, we recieved the treasure and became honorary pirates.

the next day we awoke to a great downpour and something came through the rain to pick us up . . . it was noah's ark! we had gone back to the days of the bible! for fear that we would be drowned amongst the sinners we decided to board the vessel and sail. we were at noahs ark for what felt like 40 days and nights, and we all we overcome by the sun and burned as the ship sailed. the rain and water whipped us around and the waves crashed into us. it was actually alot of fun, even though some of it was nerve wracking at the time. in our haste to board the vessel we forgot our cameras so there is no visual record of these events.

the next day we awoke in a vast forrest and heard songs drifting from a small wooded shanty. as we walked towards the sounds we saw that we were in a small lumberjack camp back when the land was still wild and unsettled. we had a damn good breakfast with these hard working gentelmen of pancakes, eggs, sausage, ham, potatoes, donuts, juice, and coffee.

we ate far too much.

after we left the breakfast hall we discovered an unknown history, one that would rock this nation to its very core.

in the past aliens had abducted the white house and placed back on the earth upside down. this was remedied by the white house being rebuilt in washington d.c. and everything to do with this other incident was kept top secret, but we discovered these ruins of the original white house.

we learned that the aliens have been constructing our presidents as robots from the beginning. that was about it, but upon exiting the ruins some amatuer chose the incorrect path and a bomb went off destroying all evidence. i will continue to tell of this true history, even if the government comes after me.

so stressful was this ordeal that we had to have a cigarette.


but as we smoked gerrit went back in time further and channeled the missing link, apeman before homosapien. so many truths were revealed to us on this trip that i cannot fathom what else could be so dramtically different than what we have been taught.

maria and i then continued on our trip while the others decided that had experienced enough revalation. in the interest of exploration and learning maria and i drove on. we arrived at a huge metropolis in which many things would be learned. the first place we went was a place where the waters of the earth still teamed with ancient beautiful creatures that were wild and untamed.

here is one of the ancient creatures we witnessed.



soon after that picture was taken it ate somebody. we went further into this wilderness and saw some beautiful creatures that have remained virtually unchanged for millions of years, sharks. standing there watching them swim through the glinting light of the sun i experienced a truly emotional feeling. admiration, adoration, awe, and inspiration flowed over me as they swam smoothly through the inky water. i felt a connection to creation at that point and actually choked up a little bit. sharks are one of the most magnificant creatures on God's earth. after we left there we rested in anticipation of what might come tomorrow.

we awoke in a world of magic, witches, wizards, talking beasts, and song. it was a marvelous sight and maria and i reveled in the spectacle. mostly maria, this has been a life long goal for her and she was able to achieve it.

we also wandered the city and took in some of the historical art work and architecture. here are some of the highlights.

maria in front of the ancient skyline.



a couple scenes from the heart of the historical city.

a (relatively) modern day tower of babel.

the next day maria and i traveled back towards minnesota unsure if we would return to modern day or stay in the past. we hoped for our own times but i think a little part of us both wanted to see things as they were back when this land was in control, not the other way around. but as we drove and got closer and closer to minnesota the fog began to fall again. i got my camera out to record it but the fog did not work in the photographs. but as we drove through the fog we felt very peculiar and i took pictures of our faces to document. these are how they turned out.

as we travelled forward in time our faces became distorted and returned to normal when we arrived in the present, well maria's did (mine still looks a little odd). after we got into our apartment we were unsure that what we experienced was truly real. did this all really happen? had we really traveled back in time and seen all of these historical truths come to life? how would we know? who would believe us?

we both needed rest, so we laid down and the next morning we awoke to something sitting on our coffee table. it was a photograph taken in the old west. we stared in disbelieve at the evidence of our backwards time travel. this was the proof . . . we had gone back in time and returned. we will always remember this trip through time with fondness. here is the proof.

vacation

maria and i are going to be taking a much needed vacation. first we are going to wisconsin dells with the plantages, matt wulff, and steve kohlmann. that will be sweet. then on to chicago for a little "just the two of us" vacation. thanks to the united states government for funding the vacation with its generous economic stimulus package. i will send president bush a post card.

i'll let you know how the trip goes when we return. we are very excited to get some time away from our jobs and the twin cities. it has been awhile.

root beer

these root beer's are the best. following these root beer's would be culver's, mug, and barqs (in that order). if only root beer was required for human survival, like water.

a quick bit of advice:

if anyone ever asks you if you would be willing to take the responsibility of balancing and adding money to an ATM weekly, say NO.

it'll save you alot of stress.

jaws

i just finished reading "Jaws" by peter benchley recently and i really enjoyed it. i know it probably seems contrary to my great love for sharks that i would read and enjoy a book that succeeded in vilifying sharks to many people. but i think that it actually did not do that.

granted there are times when the shark seems to be pure evil, eating a little boy on a raft, maniacally attacking the orca as it sinks, and so forth. but i do think that the book does a decent job of presenting an alternative viewpoint. the viewpoint that sharks are not evil by nature, they are just predators by nature. there is a character that actually has a reverence for the shark: hooper.

hooper is the marine biologist, ichthyologist to be exact (one who studies only fish). in the movie richard dreyfuss plays him. in the book he is certainly pro-shark, he is amazed by them, he sees them as the perfect predator, he views them with respect. while all the other characters around him cry out for the death of the shark he is the alternate view point, the voice of reason against revenge. the unfortunate part is i am not sure that we are supposed to side with hooper. one of the things they cut out of the movie was hopper's affair with chief brody's wife, ellen. this makes hooper unlikable in the book, and unsympathetic character. we are not supposed to identify with him and agree with his viewpoint.

but i do. putting the affair aside hooper was able to straddle the line of respect and concern for human life with scientific curiosity and respect for the fish.

and i am not so sure that we are supposed to identify with quint either. the ahab character that constantly crosses lines of dignity to achieve his goals. he poached an unborn dolphin to use as bait and gutted a blue shark just to watch it eat its own entrails and watch other sharks eat it. this kind of disregard for any type of life is repellant as well. i think benchley was trying to bring us to a sort of middle ground with brody.

brody is obviously the main focus. it is his famliy and thoughts that are focused on in the book. we are emotionally connected to brody more than any other character, and he does show both feelings about the shark on different occasions. but regardless of how the characters feel about the shark, what did the most damage to the image of the shark was the pure fear that benchley made us feel about the ocean.

he made it seem like these attacks, though rare, always ended in death. the shark always seemed to be targeting whatever it saw and had no discerning taste what-so-ever when it came to prey. we know now that great whites mostly eat seals and sea-lions because they are high in blubber content. the white shark is essentially warm blooded. it uses the high fatty content of its food to produce heat in its body so it can swim in cold waters. very rarely is a human ever eaten by a shark, we may be tested every now and again, but rarely devoured, if at all. but a shark performing a taste test does not make for good pulse pounding fear or drama.

benchley was informed in part by a documentary called "blue water, white death" which i just watched again recently. it is an acount of one film crew's journey to be the first to film a great white shark. it was made in 1971 and though we still know very little about the great white, it seems they knew even less back then. it is interesting to see how far we have come. the film has some great shots and is very interesting. but it is hard sometimes to watch the divers punch sharks that don't seem to have any intention of causing harm. at one point the female diver, valerie taylor, appears to swim up to a shark and shoot it with a boom stick, a sort of underwater gun, just to see what happens. it shoots the shark with a projectile and the shark swims in circles struggling into the deep until it disappears and most likely dies. this was the time period in which the book was written and it shows.

benchley became a huge advocate for sharks and i do respect him a great deal. and regardless of whether or not i believe his book did more harm than good it is still a fun read. the stigma that "jaws" brought upon sharks has yet to be completely lifted but i do think that it did make people interested and fascinated by sharks as well. when i first saw the film i fell in love with sharks . . . it will always be one of my all time favorite movies. and though it does seem to have done some harm, it worked in an opposite way too, and i am very thankful for that. plus it is just plain entertaining.

i will leave you with a quote from the book that pretty much sums up how i feel . . .

"that fish is a beauty, it's the kind of thing that makes you believe in a god. it shows you what nature can do when she sets her mind to it." -hooper

The Pursuit: part two

Chad and Jake stopped walking long enough to put their rain gear on.
“Arty, you should really put your parka on. The rain is really coming down.” Chad didn’t like to call his father-in-law “Dad”. Since his own father passed away it felt like he was replacing him. Arty just grunted and put the ear flaps down on his hat. A little rain wasn’t going to hurt him, he had survived much worse than this. When he was ten he fell through the ice on the creek behind the farm. As his clothes grew heavy with water he sank slowly to the bottom, it felt like knives pierced every inch of his body, and as the current flowed he moved further away from the opening and under the ice. Before he passed out he could see blurred figures struggling to break the ice, to set him free. The next thing he remembered was being covered in blankets in front of the fireplace. Surviving that gave him the ability to assess true risk, if he survived falling through the ice, he could survive rain and the cold that might follow.
“Are you sure we should go back to the cabin without Ethan? Will he know to go back?” Chad asked.
“I’d be surprised if he wasn’t there when we get there.” Arty said. “He’s got the maps, he knows where to go.”
“Sure.” The drumming of the raindrops on the leaves drowned out any other sound that floated in to them. The faintest of yells did not register. Neither Chad nor Jake heard anything because the sound of the rain was amplified by the hoods on their raincoats. Arty stopped for a moment and turned. He motioned for the others to stop and listen. They stood frozen listening for anything other than the rain. No other sound waves could pass between the drops and they went unheard. They walked the rest of the way in silence.

A walk gone in a new direction

As you might figure out eventually this isn't Adam writing...it's his wife. Why you might ask? Because I have a story to tell, so listen up!


Adam and I wanted to go for a walk tonight, but we didn't want to walk in our neighborhood, so we decided to go to our favorite place to walk in Roseville, Central Park. As we were driving there we noticed some commotion going on. At first I thought it was an accident because there were lights and an ambulance and a barricade. But no! It was a PARADE!!! My little heart skipped a beat. I LOVE PARADES!! I've been kind of bummed because Adam and I won't be able to go see the Albert Lea 3rd of July parade this year and I really wanted to see a parade. Apparently this week is RoseFest which is kicked off with a parade!


I did have a few complaints with the parade however. A) The people refused to throw candy to me. Okay so i realize that i am not a kid but adults like candy just as much as children do! B) Marching bands that just march to clicks...lame! C) Princesses that aren't really princesses of anything but are allowed to sit on a moving vehicle and wave to people on the street D) Marching bands that sing instead of playing their instruments. There were at least 2 bands we saw out of 5 that sang as part of their performance. The only band I was somewhat impressed with was the Champlain Park band...they played Fiddler on the Roof which was pretty good. It made me miss the days of sweating in the wool uniforms and rolling my feet.



Overall it was an evening walk well spent. We got to be part of our city's parade, people watch, and be a marching band judge. Thanks for listening!


Maria


P.S.
I want a house