fred basset - a comic strip that "sheds" light on our dark times

In the comic strip, Fred Basset by Alex Graham, we see that Fred, the dog, is hilariously sending a "b-mail" as opposed to an e-mail. Not only does this bark mail punch line provide hours of uproarious laughter, I think it provides some pretty serious commentary on the state of communication in this day and age.

In the first panel we see Fred's owner sitting at his computer, presumably sending an email. He is completely disconnected, blank stare, back turned away from his best friend, Fred, typing away oblivious to the world around him.

Now, Fred, on the other hand sees this as an opportunity for real communication. He does not just sit in front of a screen. He goes outside, facing the world around him, and calls out to his friend. We don't see it, but I bet Jock would respond in the next panel, and after that they would get together for some good old fashion dog fun. Not only this, but as Fred send his "b-mail" he wears an exuberant expression on his face. Probably partly because he knows he is being clever, but mostly, because he is really communicating with those that he loves.

That is where the message lies in this genius bit of comic wit. Humanity has lost touch, with each other and with ourselves. We not longer communicate, but rely on electronics and magic to get our message out there. Case in point, I am using the Internet to get my feelings about this comic strip. I should be out there on the streets, talking about that truth that lies in the soul of Fred Basset. Fred (dogs/nature in general) have the right idea. They still use eye contact, voices, and emotion to communicate with each other.

Humanity needs to take a lesson from this hound, let's re-open our lines of direct communication, and send a few "b-mails" of our own.

a gift from a feline neighbor

Maria and I received a housewarming gift from the next door neighbor's cat, Mooch. When I got back from my walk this morning the cat was sitting on our patio and next to it was a little bloodied bird. As I approached the cat ran away, and the little bird just sat there. It was still alive but very much injured. There was nothing I could do, so I stepped inside.

After I removed my shoes a looked out the patio windows and saw that Mooch was now playing with the injured bird instead of killing it. But the bird managed to flutter away under the power of one injured but operational wing. I did not see where it went, but the cat followed it and I did not see how the quarrel ended.

To Mooch,

Maria and I appreciate the gesture, but wish you would have gotten us something more useful. Even if the bird had been dead, there wasn't enough meat on it to have a meal. Next time, bring a fruit basket or something.

Matt Lauer - Bear Whisperer

There was a story on the Today show that aired on the morning of July 29th about a few bears attacking campers in Yellowstone National Park. There was one fatality and two injuries. As of this morning they had not found the bears that had attacked the campers. But, an official spoke on behalf of the park about the measures being taken to control the situation. Specifically, they closed all of the camp grounds and began a major search for any bear in the area. After the interview, Matt Lauer made a simple statement. He said,

"It sounds like they are taking all the right steps."

The show then continued to be terrible. But this statement struck me as odd. How would Matt Lauer know what the "right steps" would be to control possible bear attack? Does he have some sort of experience with bears that the public does not know about? So I asked him.

Below is the transcript from an interview I did with Matt Lauer concerning his amazing bear controlling skills.

In the photo above Matt Lauer explains how he calms a bear down by squeezing it's playful parts.

Adam: Matthew, may I call you Matthew?

Matthew: Yes you may.

A: Matthew, how did you first become interested in bears and bear controlling.

M: I was about 7 and my family went camping, in a forrest somewhere, and a bear wandered into our camp because it could smell the bacon I was looking at. It came at me in a relatively aggressive way and my dad shot it in the belly. It took quite a while for it to die, and as I sat and watched it struggle I tried to calm it down. I sang to it, petted it, but eventually calmed it down by squeezing it's playful parts. The bear then seemed to go very peacefully into the next world. So, I began my studies of the bear after that experience.

A: You said you sang it a song . . . what song was it?

M: "The wheels on the bus." by the Rolling Stones.

A: Since you had such a love of bears, how did you end up in Television news? Sorry, I didn't mean to say news. It really isn't news is it, it's kind of a glorified TMZ.

M: Correct. I focused my energy on bears and their playful parts all through college and worked in a lot of campsites in known bear country finding bears and calming them down. As I developed this skill, I learned how to control potentially dangerous bear situations. But, I was also becoming very interested in Television news and the wonderful clothes involved.

A: The clothes made you interested in working on Television?

M: Yes, doing my bear calming job I did not wear any clothes. Well, except for some shorts, in case I came across any campers. So when I saw the pretty suits, I just became enthralled by it. So I started doing Television news the next day.

A: That happened pretty quick for you.

M: Any idiot can do it.

A: I bet it takes real skill to "bear whisper".

M: It does. And, I still "whisper" bears every now and again to make sure I keep those muscles toned, if you know what I mean. But, really, it's kind of in my muscle memory. I will never forget the experiences I have had with bears.

A: And I am sure the bears will always remember the experiences they have had with you.

M: I made sure of that.

A: Do you stay in touch with any of the bears you used to calm?

M: There are a few that I have been able to stay friends with . . . but for the most part no. It's just that bear life and man life don't really mix all that well sometimes. I mean, would a bear be able to behave in a restaurant?

A: In my opinion, no.

M: You're absolutely right. I could calm the bear down, but that would make everyone else in the restaurant uncomfortable and scared. And since I am a part of the news media I see it as part of my job to not frighten people unnecessarily.

A: You are very noble.

M: I am aware of that, thank you.

In the end, this interview showcased for me the expertise that is hidden in our news anchors. When they make those comments at the end of the story, they know what they are talking about. So in summation I would like to say . . . trust the news media, otherwise we will all die from the trace amounts of rat poison that are in our face soap that we didn't know was there but is, and every time we wash our face we ingest it.

Matt Lauer in his "bear whispering" outfit. I could see how a bear would enjoy this.

*interview with Matt Lauer not real . . . no duh*

tragedy lies behind the demand for fresh seafood in the gulf

so, if any of you have spoken to me recently i have been gibbering on and on about how much i love the X-Files. i am late in finding the show, when it was on TV i did not watch it due to a combination of being a child who was easily frightened (i had a hard time with The Penguin in Batman Returns, but who isn't a little scared of Danny Devito?) and my parents not being too keen on the show.

but, much to the chagrin of Maria (who i am sure is tired of hearing about it, even though she is kind enough to listen and every so often watch with me (she supports me in my interests because she is a wonderful wife)), i have delved into the X-Files universe and can not get past how great this show is, even though i am only into the 2nd season.

compared to TV today, f*** you Jersey Shore, it is a Beethoven symphony. this show entertains, makes you care about these characters, asks some pretty interesting spiritual and philosophical questions, and is just some good wholesome creepy fun.

the episode i wanted to focus on briefly was the episode of the X-Files entitled "irresistible". the episode is about a man who likes to collect hair, finger nails, and eventually fingers, off of previously dead bodies, and as the show progresses, people that he has killed. it was an interesting episode mostly because it was a reference to Jeffery Dahmer, which was a situation that occurred during the time this show was on the air (1994), and because it takes place in . . . THE TWIN CITIES!

it made the cities look as if the place was crawling with hookers and fetishists. but, i hate to say it, they got it right. just recently a friend of mine was propositioned in downtown St. Paul by a prostitute (honestly, i was out on my nightly round and didn't recognize him. i wouldn't have said anything if i had. too bad though, i would have rocked his world). But, even Mulder was excited to go to a Vikings game. unfortunately he wasn't able to make it to the game due to the finger loving murderer, but he watched it on TV.

but what does bother me is that Iowa got alien abductions, Wisconsin got kids and cows being treated with alien DNA and being told it was the bovine growth hormone, but Minnesota, we get this guy . . .

(he's smelling hair).

way to go MN, dream big.

The Truth Is Out There.

It is amazing how much music can affect us. A song can instantly change our mood, remind of something, or just fill us with awe that someone composed such great art (which is my general reaction to classical music, but there are a few pieces that truly affect me emotionally).

I am going to post some of the lyrics to songs that move me in some amazing way. So here is the first one, there will be more to come.

Mineral

End Serenading

Will you come and what will I say
Oh I have been so distant and unhappy
Like I could disappear

When I was a boy I saw things
That no one else could see
So why am I so blind at twenty-two
To the hope that is all around me
Filling up this room

On the road on my own
Waiting for the words to fall from your tongue
Into my ears

When I was a boy I could hear
Symphonies in seashells
So why am I so deaf at twenty-two
To the sound of the driving snow
That drives me home to you

I was going to write about what this song means to me, but I decided that might cheapen it a little. If you want to know what I think, ask me next time I see you. But for now, please read them, and see if they mean anything to you. Please check out the song, it is incredible.

i'm a whiner . . . at least when it comes to this blog i'm a whiner. maria and i watched Julie and Julia last weekend, or sometime (i try to forget), and Julie just whines through the entire movie and it annoyed me greatly.

so, i am going to quit whining on this blog (except after the oscars, we'll see how it goes). positivity folks, that's where it's at.

BOOM! SMILES!

my plan is to eat the one with it's mouth open. i don't like it's attitude.

stupid cars

Report on vehicle incidents.

01.06.10 - driving to work, had to stop suddenly, and was rear ended gently. stupid driver, no damage.

01.09.10 - had driven to Duluth Friday night and back from Duluth Saturday and was backed into when we arrived home. took place in our parking lot, several feet from parking and safety. stupid driver (didn't look before backing up), left headlight damaged and hood dented.

01.09.10 - was informed by close friends, will remain anonymous for security reasons, that due to a stupid act of vandalism, two tires on their car were slashed and flat. 80 other cars in the parking lot suffered the same fate. stupid bored idiots, severe tire damage.

here ends the transmission.