employee profile

looking at the us bank web site today i noticed something called an employee profile. i had seen them at wells fargo as well and thought that they were pretty funny. i realize they are there to attempt to raise morale, but it worked in a way that i suppose they didn't expect it would. i laughed at them, not identified with them. so here is my attempt at writing an employee profile.

this person is completely fictional . . . so, don't get offended if it hits close to home.

David W. Swanson: A Profile In Professionalism

David Swanson has been working with Federal Bancorp for 40 years and has just received the Tim Hanson medal for punctuality and professionalism for the 14th year in a row. He joined the Federal Bancorp team in 1968 after he had earned his masters degree in genetics. He started as a teller to make a few extra dollars while he looked for labs to begin his research on how to cure all known disease. He decided to stay with the bank when he was offered a personal banker position and saw that this was the real opportunity to help people. "I saw that there was a real need for someone who cared about people to talk to them about their finances. I felt that it would be a more direct benefit to humanity that way."

Over the years David has climbed the ladder of success all the way to the Assistant to the Assistant Manager of Human Resources position in the corporate office in downtown Rapid City, SD. He has been in that position for the majority of his time with Federal Bancorp.

"It is just great to be able to advance within a company that truly cares about people. I mean, who would want to give up a decent wage, job security, and good benefits to do what you've always dreamed?"

The Full House

David lives with his wife and three dogs in Rapid City. Sheila, his wife, also works for the company as an Operations clerk in the corporate office. They met one day at work when David was coming in late to check on some loan applications that needed to be processed. He saw Sheila burning the midnight oil as well. "We just kind of hit it off, " David explains. "She was working late, and I was working late. It was a match made in heaven." Six years later they were married and have been happy ever since. They had two children, Ben and Gloria, who have gone off to college. Now David and Sheila live with their two other children, Pookers and Izabel, two poodles that are quite a handful.

5 Questions

What would you do if you weren't in banking?

I would love to write spy novels, kind of like James Bond, but the main character would be a banker who fights against fraudulent check rings and things like that. Or I could go on tour with John Tesh, he's just so talented.

What is the craziest thing you've ever done?

I once ate a cookie right out of the oven before it had time to cool. It burned my mouth pretty bad and I definitely learned my lesson after that. I also have a tattoo, it is a butterfly on my ankle.

Tell us one thing no one would know about you.

I've never been outside of South Dakota. My wife and I almost took a honeymoon but we decided to work instead.

Do you love your family?

sure.

What is your greatest regret?

Spending all that money on my education, I don't use it anyways. I should have just saved it and put it into a CD or something. But, live and learn.

the photo of this guy i found on www.grigorieffphotography.com. please don't sue me.