on inspiration

the question of inspiration


where does inspiration come from? i have been thinking about this for quite some time now. really since i have been out of college, since i haven't been able to write a song or a poem or a story that i've really liked. and maybe i just haven't tried hard enough, but every time i think i might have something good i start on it and it becomes something that i don't really like. so the question still stands, where is my inspiration?

to find the answer i can look at what has inspired me in the past.
1. moments in time: like taking a walk on a frozen lake feeling isolated from humanity but feeling just that much closer to something divine.
2. people: those i love dearly and those that i don't. in each person one can see something to learn from, even if you learn what not to do.
3. nature: waves lapping on the shore, seeing pure acts of life uninhibited by man's interference. the complexity of nature is something that will always amaze me.
4. God: the one who controls all of the above. hence, the ultimate and unknowable source of inspiration.

so if these are the things that inspire me, why am i not producing a massive amount of emotional material? i have love in my life, my wife, my friends, my family. i still have those precious moments in time when things just slow down and my heart just opens up. i am constantly amazed by the natural world. and i am pretty sure that God is still very involved in my life since i am so blessed, when i know i shouldn't be. but maybe the problem is not the source, maybe the problem is the outlet.

in time i am sure that writing songs, stories, and poems will come back to me. i am going to keep trying. but maybe now it is time to focus on a more visual approach to art. maybe i'll try painting, or collage, or drawing, or everything combined into one huge mess. that might be fun. if that doesn't work i'll try something else.

i don't think my problem is a lack of inspiration, i think it is just that i need to try a new medium. but don't worry , i'm not going to start giving paintings out as christmas gifts. no one wants that.