my life's calling

i was having a conversation with someone this past weekend and from that conversation came the inspiration for my life's calling. i finally know my purpose in life, the reason i was put here on earth, the reason i have been working at this horrible job at the bank for so long. all of that time working at the bank prepared me for my true career . . .

a male stripper.

and my theme? bank teller.

think about it. it is perfect. i can come onto the stage in full business casual. that would allow me to take off a necktie, and use that in imaginative ways. i could wear and belt and suspenders and really make the show interesting. once i got to the nitty gritty, i would be wearing briefs that read "deposit only","night deposit", or "$7 fee for cashiers checks" and the ladies, or guys, could slip the bills in. maybe i could print them a receipt somehow.

it would also work as a professional wrestling persona.

i would be "the bank teller" and i could perform such moves as the "check bounce" and the "big bill slam" (which could be moves for the strip club too, if you think about it). and before i finish off my opponent i could scream "You're overdrawn!" and slam him to the mat violently.

i feel as though there has been a great weight lifted now that i know my life's calling. now it is just a matter of filling out a g-string. . .

maybe i should go back to school.